Mungo's Lovely Picnic
It was a beautiful, sunny morning. Mungo leapt out of bed, and stretched and yawned.
"What a lovely day," he said. "Just right for a picnic."
Mungo phoned his friend, Runcie Wibblespoon, who agreed that it was a lovely day, and said they should take his car and drive to the countryside.
Mungo went into the kitchen and packed his picnic basket.
He packed:
A pot of Auntie Bessie's strawberry jam.
A loaf of bread.
A pat of butter.
Two round shiny apples.
A knife for spreading the butter and jam on the bread.
"Goodbye, cat," he said to Patches, his cat.
"Goodbye, dog," he said to Snuffles, his dog.
"Goodbye, fish," he said to Bubbles, his fish.
"Goodbye, flowers," he said to his flowers in the front garden. They all waved to see him go.
Runcie was waiting for him in the car.
"My," said Mungo. "Your car looks shiny this morning."
"I washed it yesterday," said Runcie. "You can see your face in it."
The car tooted merrily. Mungo put his picnic basket in the back, and they were all ready to set off!
As they sped along, they passed PC Bugstable on his bicycle. He waved to them and skidded off the road and hit a tree in an explosion of blood. Mungo screamed as the policeman's intestines hit him across the back of his head.
Later on, they found a field, where there was a nice shady spot under a tree. There they laid out their picnic cloth, opened the picnic basket, and sat down to have their lunch.
"What a lovely, sunny day," said Runcie.
"Yes," said Mungo. "Would you like some bread and jam?"
"Ooooh, yes please," said Runcie, "Yum yum!"
Mungo made a jam sandwich for himself and one for Runcie. They both agreed it was the best jam they had ever tasted.
"Who made this jam?" asked Runcie.
"Auntie Bessie," said Mungo.
"It's lovely," said Runcie.
"She made it with strawberries from her own garden," said Mungo.
"Ghah!" said Runcie as a low-flying bird flew into his neck and its sharp beak penetrated deep into his throat. He spat blood all over the picnic cloth, then fell over backwards. As he writhed in agony, blood sprayed out of his ears, nose, mouth, and eyes, until finally, with a wet 'Pop!' his eyeballs shot out. Mungo screamed and tried to cover the food.
Later that evening, Mungo arrived home. It had been a long, exciting day, and he was tired.
"Hello, flowers," he said to the flowers in his garden.
"Hello, cat," he said to Patches, his cat.
"Hello, dog," he said to Snuffles, his dog.
"Hello, fish," he said to Bubbles, his fish.
First he fed the fish. Can you guess what he gave him? A nice sprinkle of fish-food.
Then he fed the cat. Can you guess what he gave him? A nice juicy fish.
Then he fed the dog. Can you guess what he gave him? A nice juicy cat.
Then he had his supper. Can you guess what he had for supper? A nice juicy dog.
Finally it was time for bed. Mungo yawned. It had been a lovely day. He went upstairs to his bedroom.
First he put on his pyjamas. They were white with blue stripes on.
Then he put on his dressing-gown. It was yellow with green frogs on it.
Then he put on his slippers. They were purple and fluffy and looked like bunnies.
Then he went into the bathroom. It was time to clean his teeth before bed. He took out his electric toothbrush.
First he cleaned his top teeth.
Then he cleaned his bottom teeth.
Then he cleaned them up and down.
Then he cleaned them side-to-side.
Then the toothbrush slipped and ripped his face off.
Mungo screamed as the blood sprayed all over the walls. His face fell off the still-vibrating toothbrush and landed in a floppy wet heap on the toilet seat before slithering off into the loo. As he flailed around, Mungo accidentally leaned on the flush, and flushed his face. Old Mrs
Crotchington next door banged on the wall and yelled at him to be quiet. He staggered over to the wall, moaning and groaning, and fell out of the bathroom window, to be impaled on the railings below, where a pack of squirrels, maddened by the smell of blood, leapt on him and tore out his entrails.
What a day it had been!
The End
It was a beautiful, sunny morning. Mungo leapt out of bed, and stretched and yawned.
"What a lovely day," he said. "Just right for a picnic."
Mungo phoned his friend, Runcie Wibblespoon, who agreed that it was a lovely day, and said they should take his car and drive to the countryside.
Mungo went into the kitchen and packed his picnic basket.
He packed:
A pot of Auntie Bessie's strawberry jam.
A loaf of bread.
A pat of butter.
Two round shiny apples.
A knife for spreading the butter and jam on the bread.
"Goodbye, cat," he said to Patches, his cat.
"Goodbye, dog," he said to Snuffles, his dog.
"Goodbye, fish," he said to Bubbles, his fish.
"Goodbye, flowers," he said to his flowers in the front garden. They all waved to see him go.
Runcie was waiting for him in the car.
"My," said Mungo. "Your car looks shiny this morning."
"I washed it yesterday," said Runcie. "You can see your face in it."
The car tooted merrily. Mungo put his picnic basket in the back, and they were all ready to set off!
As they sped along, they passed PC Bugstable on his bicycle. He waved to them and skidded off the road and hit a tree in an explosion of blood. Mungo screamed as the policeman's intestines hit him across the back of his head.
Later on, they found a field, where there was a nice shady spot under a tree. There they laid out their picnic cloth, opened the picnic basket, and sat down to have their lunch.
"What a lovely, sunny day," said Runcie.
"Yes," said Mungo. "Would you like some bread and jam?"
"Ooooh, yes please," said Runcie, "Yum yum!"
Mungo made a jam sandwich for himself and one for Runcie. They both agreed it was the best jam they had ever tasted.
"Who made this jam?" asked Runcie.
"Auntie Bessie," said Mungo.
"It's lovely," said Runcie.
"She made it with strawberries from her own garden," said Mungo.
"Ghah!" said Runcie as a low-flying bird flew into his neck and its sharp beak penetrated deep into his throat. He spat blood all over the picnic cloth, then fell over backwards. As he writhed in agony, blood sprayed out of his ears, nose, mouth, and eyes, until finally, with a wet 'Pop!' his eyeballs shot out. Mungo screamed and tried to cover the food.
Later that evening, Mungo arrived home. It had been a long, exciting day, and he was tired.
"Hello, flowers," he said to the flowers in his garden.
"Hello, cat," he said to Patches, his cat.
"Hello, dog," he said to Snuffles, his dog.
"Hello, fish," he said to Bubbles, his fish.
First he fed the fish. Can you guess what he gave him? A nice sprinkle of fish-food.
Then he fed the cat. Can you guess what he gave him? A nice juicy fish.
Then he fed the dog. Can you guess what he gave him? A nice juicy cat.
Then he had his supper. Can you guess what he had for supper? A nice juicy dog.
Finally it was time for bed. Mungo yawned. It had been a lovely day. He went upstairs to his bedroom.
First he put on his pyjamas. They were white with blue stripes on.
Then he put on his dressing-gown. It was yellow with green frogs on it.
Then he put on his slippers. They were purple and fluffy and looked like bunnies.
Then he went into the bathroom. It was time to clean his teeth before bed. He took out his electric toothbrush.
First he cleaned his top teeth.
Then he cleaned his bottom teeth.
Then he cleaned them up and down.
Then he cleaned them side-to-side.
Then the toothbrush slipped and ripped his face off.
Mungo screamed as the blood sprayed all over the walls. His face fell off the still-vibrating toothbrush and landed in a floppy wet heap on the toilet seat before slithering off into the loo. As he flailed around, Mungo accidentally leaned on the flush, and flushed his face. Old Mrs
Crotchington next door banged on the wall and yelled at him to be quiet. He staggered over to the wall, moaning and groaning, and fell out of the bathroom window, to be impaled on the railings below, where a pack of squirrels, maddened by the smell of blood, leapt on him and tore out his entrails.
What a day it had been!
The End
posted by STEVEFRIARS at 6:16 AM
0 comments
